Boom badda boom boom boom!

So I have been working all week, making the money I need! Yay!

During my downtime and visits to the college room at night, I've been stalking the WW boards and learning new things each day.

One of my favorite blogs to go to is www.skinnytaste.com I have tried a few recipes and may I say they get Shanna's seal of approval! *thumbs up!*

I absolutely love reading other people's weight loss blogs and getting inspired by other people's journeys.

This next week will be busy but Jeff told me that we'll start making a conscious effort to work out! yay!

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...

Hmm...that quote has always had me thinking. I've never been skinny so I don't know how it feels in comparison to how something tastes, so the tastes win in the end. I can tell that sugar sets me off badly. Once I get a taste, I want more. Like my mind screams for more. That makes me seem like such a fatty, eh? It's like I can point out and know the healthier choices but I don't always pick them and ending up kicking my own ass in the end. I look at thinner girls and wonder "wow, how in the world did they get their body like that and why can't I have their motivation?" And the thing is too, I have absolutely NO motivation! It sucks to say, and I'm pretty ashamed of it. My dad had a quadruple bypass at 45, and there is heart disease and diabetes in my family, yet it's not putting my butt in gear. At 21, I have acid reflux and a hiatal hernia. I'm absolutely terrified that I would end up with my family's health problems, but I'm guessing it's a form of self sabotage? I don't know. Anyways, that's the deep look of what's going on in my mind.

Have a good one!

I'm old Greggggg!

Haha, I love quoting that video!

Anyways, everything has been going pretty good on my end. Just got paid and went grocery shopping today. I made some pretty good choices but I'll pretty much be living on snacks, fruit, and whatever I decide to make for dinner whenever i decide to make it, lol. [I have weird work days]. I did good in not getting any sodas, and I'm limiting my intake to only when I go to the church college room. There isn't too much to write about other than asking why in the world did I have to slip in mud TWO TIMES today?!?!?! seriously? Wow, heh. And I did get a bunch of exercise carrying three loads of groceries up three flights of stairs. yay me!

Stop....Hammertime!

So since my day off is today I've been relaxing with Jeff, and even had the added benefit of him making some VERY yummy turkey burgers! {we forgot to grab some zucchini at the store} Did some cleaning, laundry, and prepping for work tomorrow. This weekend has been pretty awesome with Texans kickoff parties and having fun with friends.

I have been thinking of what this WW journey I'm about to undertake will mean to me. I would be able to shed away all of these unwanted lbs that have acted as a shield for me. Its funny that I say "shield" because it just brought on ridicule from when I was a wee little lass. Quite the contradiction, eh?

This November will be the Warrior Dash and I was going to partake in it, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. It seems so fun!! 

I won't be as inhibited as I am now. I would love nothing more than to show myself that I CAN do something and not give up. I am very hard to motivate, apparently but hopefully I can learn how to motivate myself and keep this up.

I would ABSOLUTELY love to reach my goal of 180 lbs...I already have some prizes in mind:

1. Totally new wardrobe!! :D

2. A new sportsbike and ALL the gear! {I don't want to look like a beached whale doing down the road}

3. And it seems weird, but I am interested with pin-up photography and I would LOVE to take a photo shoot like the old time pin-up gals. 

                                            {me as a pin-up girl for Halloween}

So far, that's essentially what's crossed my mind today. Now to go and get ready for work tomorrow!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!

College football with the DBF and some friends today! I haven't made too many good food choices {So many tempting snacks and sodas!} but I am kicking my own butt for that.

So about the title of this blog "A Smidgie Smaller". One of my best friends of 10 years gave me the nickname "Smidgie" because {this is his own words} "I am smaller than him but not quite a midget". At a nice 5'6 I am still no match for his 6'0+...but come on, seriously? Heh, I've kept this endearing name for many years, and since I want to essentially cut myself in half {weight-wise, not like am emo}, so I'm going to be "A Smidgie Smaller".

baaaaah-zing!

I was born a chunky girl and I still bee's that way!

Hello! I'm Shanna. I've started this blog to keep up on my journey before and during Weight Watchers.

So without further ado....here we go!

I've been big all of my life. Ever since I was a chunky little girl up til now. The earliest memories I have of my weight being a problem is when I had my FAVORITE skort set in pre-k and my zipper came undone in the back...my teacher {Poor, poor Ms. P} couldn't zip it back up. Fast forward to 6th grade...I was at the hospital when my dad had heart surgery when his less-than-pleasant then-girlfriend dragged me outside {She ALWAYS put an emphasis on my weight} into the hall and pushed me onto a scale. To my horror, I was 160lbs...she promptly called me a "fatass" and walked away. Yup, Thanks. It would probably help to mention that another reason I would stay large is because I would turn to food any time I was depressed, because from K-7th grade I {along with my brother and sister} was abused by my EX-stepdad. My mother got away when I was in 8th grade, but the damage was done. Then, in high school I was in band. Played percussion and was proud. 9-10th grade I was on the sidelines and stationary, but in 11-12th grade I marched on the field with a big drum strapped to my chest. At that time I was in WW with my stepmom and went from 252.2 lbs down to 235.4...Until I couldn't attend anymore. I maintained anywhere from 240-250 when I met my ex-husband. I was happy and in love and ended up moving from Houston, Tx to El Paso, Tx in 2008. I loved being there after about a year, but missed home. My marriage started failing and so I turned to food for comfort and ended up at my highest weight of 278.8. I was mortified, horrified, and depressed. He didn't help very much in the weight loss department...he never supported anything I wanted to do and put me down at every turn. I remember one instance at the Houston rodeo he bought a Coke {$7} and I was drinking out of it because he refused to get me any water or lemonade. I apparently took one too many swigs of soda and in front of God and everybody he said "You don't need to drink this, you need to lose weight!" Wow. Once my ex and I moved back home to Houston in 2010, we went through a divorce and I lost 40lbs. I've been living life since then but have gained weight. I haven't checked a scale lately, but I am not yet in a position to go to WW. I am ready, but my fridge consists of a few slices of cheese and mayo. I just started a new job as a photographer and I have to wait for my first check to come in, heh.

Life has been looking up for me lately...new job, new amazing boyfriend, finding new awesome friends....I'm realizing that I need to start taking care of myself and with Jeff's care and support, I believe that I can do it.

Sorry for the mile-long intro, but I had to get it all out there!